


when I see you again

by ZainBAP



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, One Shot sequel thingy, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZainBAP/pseuds/ZainBAP
Summary: "Why should I believe a single word you say?" Yongguk demands, voice dark as he fixes Youngjae with his stare again. "You've been lying since the day we first met. How long did you watch us for? How long did you observe us, looking for cracks you could slip through? So you could destroy us from the inside?""Hyung—""Don't call me that," Yongguk snarls.





	when I see you again

**Author's Note:**

> I've been upset about the lack of bangjae set in the one shot universe ever since I joined the fandom, and I always meant to contribute with some, but apparently it took me over a year to finally get off my ass and do it. This is a sequel thing, though very short and vague. Could be part of something bigger, and maybe I'll write the rest of it someday, but for now this is what I got.
> 
> First posted on my [tumblr](http://zainbap.tumblr.com/post/163162833394/when-i-see-you-again-one-shot-sequel).

 

 

"You know me," Youngjae whispers.

"No," Yongguk says sharply. "I _don't_ know you."

It hurts, more than he'd prepared himself for. Youngjae swallows around the lump forming in his throat. Yongguk studies him for a moment before letting his eyes drift, looking off into the distance.

"Thought I did," he mumbles.

Youngjae's heart clenches painfully, and he desperately tries to come up with something to say. The whole car ride out here, and he still doesn't know how to say this.

"I didn't want things to end like this," he tries. "You have to believe me."

"Why should I believe a single word you say?" Yongguk demands, voice dark as he fixes Youngjae with his stare again. "You've been lying since the day we first met. How long did you watch us for? How long did you observe us, looking for cracks you could slip through? So you could destroy us from the inside?"

It feels as if someone's holding onto Youngjae's heart with a fist, squeezing it.

"Hyung—"

" _Don't_ call me that," Yongguk snarls.

Youngjae flinches, swallowing around the lump in his throat. But Yongguk isn't done.

"I trusted you," he says, and he speaks as if the words as poison in his mouth. "I opened up to you, let you into my gang. Into my _family_. _You_ were family, Youngjae. We were willing to die for you. To get you back. _I_ was—" He pauses, something hot burning in his eyes. Youngjae has never seen him like this. "I was ready to sacrifice everything."

Youngjae clenches his jaw, trying to ignore the painful feeling in his chest. Even when thinking he's already said everything to himself, knowing exactly what he'd done, Yongguk's words still hurt.

"Now they're all fugitives because of you. You did that."

Youngjae tries to find his courage, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. I did."

Yongguk stills, watching him closely. His expression changes, and Youngjae knows he understands they've switched subject. Silence reigns for a long moment, during which Yongguk's eyes never leave Youngjae's face.

"Why did you do it?" He asks eventually, voice low as ever. "Why'd you help us escape?"

"Because of what you said," Youngjae breathes. "That first night."

He can see Yongguk trying to recall what he means, but failing.

"What did I say?"

"That you'd rather die than go back to prison."

Yongguk stares at him, brows still furrowed and jaw set. Youngjae swallows, not looking away. In the end, it's Yongguk who averts his gaze. His chest is heaving, a little too fast.

"Why do you think I'm here, Yongguk?"

Yongguk keeps looking away, not answering for a moment.

"I don't know," he admits.

He sounds… _small_ , and it makes Youngjae feel sick.

"I knew where you were," Youngjae carefully says. "So if I wanted to catch you, I would've just sent the cops here."

Yongguk doesn't answer, but Youngjae can see his Adam's apple bobbing. A gust of wind ruffles his hair, and Youngjae absently thinks about how it's grown out since they last saw each other.

"And I knew where you were, because I know you," he goes on. "Just like I know Daehyunnie, and Himchan-hyung. Jongup. Junhong. I know all of you."

There's a twitch in the corner of Yongguk's mouth, as if wanting to protest, but he remains mute.

"The person I was, when I was with you guys…" Youngjae's voice dies down without him meaning it to. His throat is getting too thick, too constrained. But he needs to say this. He knows he'll never be able to breathe without his chest hurting if he doesn't. "It was the real me, hyung. I wasn't— I didn't fake anything when it came to the gang."

Silence reigns for a long moment, Yongguk visibly swallowing.

"It doesn't matter now," he says.

And Youngjae knows he's right.

He can feel the burn behind his eyes, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes, and he hates that he's so weak. That he put himself in this position.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, voice thick. "I know I ruined everything for you, and I'm sorry. I wish— I wish I could say I wish I never met you, but then I'd be lying. I wish I wasn't a cop, and that I had been exactly what you all thought I was. I know it's not enough, but I came here to tell you that."

Yongguk closes his eyes then, and somehow that's worse. Youngjae feels as if he's falling apart, breaking at the seams. He doesn't know where he belongs anymore. If it's here, or somewhere else.

He waits for Yongguk to say something, but when he doesn't, Youngjae can't take it anymore. Just looking at the shell of a man Yongguk has become hurts too much. He needs to get out of here. He needs to go home. Wherever that is. Whatever it _was_ , before.

He turns around but has barely taken two steps when Yongguk speaks behind him.

"Are you going to leave me again?"

Youngjae stops, heart clenching in his chest as he turns back around. Yongguk is watching him, and the vulnerable look on his face makes Youngjae want to cry.

"Only if you want me to," he croaks.

Yongguk opens his mouth, hesitates.

"I don't."

He looks scared, and Youngjae suddenly imagines Yongguk during his capture. How he got the gang to do whatever they had to to get their sixth member back. How maybe he sat on his own some days, fumbling with the silver cross around his neck as he so often does. How perhaps he went to check Youngjae's bunk some nights, to see if it all wasn't just some horrible dream.

And Youngjae hates himself, because he destroyed the only real family he's ever been part of. And there's no way to get it back. And Youngjae realizes he'll never be as loved as he was by these people.

He feels the first tear trail down his cheek, and then Yongguk is taking a step towards him. Suddenly it's like they're back on the platform, and Yongguk just handed over the money. As if he's walking up to meet him halfway, like Youngjae's knees are about to give, and they are.

Yongguk catches him, and it only makes Youngjae sob even harder. Then he's burying his face in the crook of Yongguk's neck, one of the leader's big hands on the back of his head, and Youngjae's hands reach for whatever part of Yongguk he can reach to just hold himself upright. He digs his nails into the leather of Yongguk's jacket, thinking he probably shouldn't, but can't stop it. He holds on for dear life, as if he'd fall off the face of the earth if Yongguk ever let him go.

"Don't ever leave me again," Yongguk whispers into Youngjae's ear.


End file.
